Faceless Ukraine 09

My Final Blog

by Danny Casler

My heart hurts so bad right now. We just said our goodbyes. I really hate goodbyes. My nose is runny and I’ve got tears in my eyes. Leaving Micha was one of the hardest things I’ve done in a very long time. It’s not because I feel sorry for him because of his circumstance. It’s because I love him truly like a brother and it hurts by soul to have to leave him behind.

I just feel helpless. I feel so much pain that my heart can barely contain itself. If God blessed me with anything beyond all my faults he surely blessed me with the ability to love. If I learned anything in my short life it’s that love is more powerful than any drug, any material item, it’s more pure than gold and it truly is strong enough to move mountains. Especially the ones that sometimes stand inbetween what’s right and wrong in by life.

I sometimes feel overwhelmed that I’ll never be able to conquer and climb those mountains in my life but I am always deferred to God’s love.

If I am unable to climb, he shows me a way around. If I am unable to go around he gives me the strength to climb.

I just pray that gives my Micha and all the orphans I have come into contact these same blessing because I know he knows their hearts. Their true desires. I also pray for my brothers and sisters who are not without a family but maybe without something their life that’s holding them back from the bigger picture in life.

I have a broken heart right now but my spirit and faith is continuously unwaivering. I know that by breaking my heart over and over again in all I do I am continuously being humbled over and over. If I go thru life as an ignorant fool, a stone, cold and without remorse, than I will have learned nothing at all. I won’t know what it’s like to have faith, I won’t know humility, I won’t know honor, trust and ultimately… Love.

John Lennon wrote “all you need is love”. However God inspired that thought and set it in his heart to put on a paper with a pen and that become one of those most powerful songs of all time. The point is I guess, without love we really are useless piles of bones and organs beating aimlessly without purpose decorated in skin and hair to either hide or enhance our innermost core workings. I think as I am growing as a man, and as a God loving boy, and boy only by the way that I want to always love without my past hurts, I want my love to always be fresh and sincere, but I want my innermost workings to show in all I do, and in all I am from the inside out.

I’m Huge in Eastern Europe

by Ron Gehrke II

Our last day at the orphanage has arrived and with it so has sickness and some doubts about my personal impact on this trip. We have been doing a great deal of construction work this week. Which is all well and good, but what I do is about relationships. Due to our heavy work schedule, I felt I have been having connection issues.

Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to sit in on an English class (I learned there that regardless of age or location, English classes will forever make me sleepy). We read aloud to the students so that they could practice the “American” way to say the words. While it was a good experience, I did not think that it was quite significant - how much can one really learn in one 60 minute English session.

I was invited back after class to play my guitar and sing. Singing on demand is always quite interesting. I don’t care how many years I have been playing in front of a crowd, but everytime someone commands a performce, I draw a blank.

The performance was a hit with both the students and the teacher; it definately earned me some respect, but that was a few days ago and little came of it, or so I thought.

This evening, I was invited with our translator, Oressa, to visit with the teacher. We had a great conversation about how much she enjoyed us being here; as well as, how much our teaching English and my playing guitar meant to her and the students. And then a strange thing happened - she gave me a gift and invited me to come and play at camps next summer in Romania and Moldova. While I don’t think that it will actually happen (you never know though), I was humbled to know that what was such a small routine thing for me was a such a blessing to someone else.

It goes to show that regardless of the size, every action leaves a lasting impact.

The Power of the Apology

by Lori Lenz

Yesterday, I saw a most amazing thing happen here in Ukraine.

One of our favorite kids here at the orphanage – Mischa – was hanging out, making some bracelets with one of the other kids. I just happened to be in the room, working on an email. Mischa speaks no english at all, but for some reason, communication is not a big deal. He has helped us completely with this building project, and has even started attending some of our group’s meetings. As far as I know, Mischa, unlike many of the kids here, has nowhere to go for the weekends, so either he has no family – or his family is so bad he chooses not to go.

We have a community snack area in a little “café” that they have built for the kids. Throughout the day, we’ll leave food out for everyone to share. Mischa had a very nice chocolate bar that he had added to the snack collection. But it was wrapped, and no one had opened it.

Carol, one of the wonderful people we are working with here, wanted chocolate. And wanted it badly. After a while, she opened the bar and had some – putting it on the counter. When she realized that it was Mischa’s – she assumed that it was not to share and proceeded to drive all around this little Ukrainian village where we are staying in search of a replacement candy bar. Which, she couldn’t find.

So she came in the room with Oksana, one of our English speaking friends here, and proceeded to apologize to Mischa. Mischa didn’t quite know how to respond. He kept saying that it was no big deal, but it was obvious that he really didn’t understand what Carol was doing. She finally made him look her in the eyes as she said “I took your candy bar and it was wrong. I’m sorry.” He smiled, but I really think that was simply because he’s Mischa.

I followed Carol and Oksana out of the room to say that I thought it was a really interesting exchange, but Oksana just simply said “I don’t think he’s ever been apologized to by an adult before.”

And I couldn’t imagine it. This kid is 18 years old. He has been nothing but helpful and kind and just straight up fun to be around. He’s become a part of our little family here, and to think that he’s probably never had someone older tell him that they were wrong I just can’t fathom. No one has respected him enough to say to him that his opinion mattered. That he had a voice. And that he was right.

It was a candy bar, and he was planning to share it anyway. But that’s not the point. Hopefully our little crew has been able to not only befriend some of these kids, but that they will know that we genuinely love them, care about them, and believe that they have a voice – an opinion – a face – and have a true purpose in this world.

Ceilings, walls, and floors…OH MY

by Kaylyn Albert

It is yet another busy day. We are constantly moving, trying to get the paint to stick on the ceiling, painting the walls, and laying the floor out. I have enjoyed every minute of this trip so far – from the construction, to spending time with the kids, to late night devotions. Everything has been a great experience.

I have never appreciated what my dad does every day. My dad is a general contractor that works from the crack of dawn until about five or so in the afternoon. He comes home tired, knowing that he has to wake up the next day and do it all over again. Working these past couple of days has been very tiring. Dust has coated our lungs. Paint has covered our bodies and hair. When I return home, I need to make sure that I tell him that I appreciate him a whole lot.

This whole week has been about forming relationships and making the kids aware of trafficking. We have also done renovations that have left a deeper impact with me. I am not speaking for everyone else when I say that, but I will say that I can feel a restoration happening in my own life. And all I can say is that it is a good feeling. It has been encouraging to work with people around my age, who are passionate to serve, and to seek justice.

There is a lot more work to be done. Time to go paint again.

Thanks for sticking with us. We appreciate you following our trip. Be well.

A Life of Purpose

by Danny Casler

So we honestly have been so busy that blogging has been secondary to working and keeping spirits up. I admit I am more of the cheerleader then the back breaking worker. Ive done my fair share of work but I feel in a way that I have been called to be a brother to Micha more than anything so in a sense I am working but in a more spiritual, human to human type of way. Sometimes I have felt in the way with the crew but only cause Im coughing a lot from being sick and the dust and junk in the air makes me hate being in the room haha.

Anyhow, yesterday my Micha was up early to have morning devotion with us and learn more about god. I have not talked to him about god not because its not important but because I approach everyone and everything with LOVE first because that is what I have been blessed to do. Love people. Love life, and appreciate that without love, life is dark and with love comes understanding and the willingness to want more, to know more, to then LOVE more.

So I think by just showing brotherly love to Micha and being a shoulder to him he has come to see a side of me that he wants to know more about. Maybe he is wondering why I am so loving to him, or why I care about him, or his story? I don¹t know. I just know that the connection even without words is genuine.

It was solidified as I was walking with the boys to town and he was walking back and I guess I ruined his surprise because he just handed me a box with a beautiful knife in it. It turns out, he went to down because he was leaving for the weekend and wanted to give me a gift. It really moved me. An orphan took what little money he had to give me a gift. That¹s genuine, when you have little but give because your soul calls for it. That¹s Christ like and moments like that are the little things I live for.

I came back to the orphanage and I started to make him a beaded bracelet. Before I could even give it to him he had made me one! I am like ³damn this kid is beating me with the gift giving haha² He then went and got me some chocolate and then bought me some candy. Then he made me another bracelet!

Love is a great thing and some people just don¹t understand how important it is to show one another love. I may never see Micha again, and I may, but when I leave here I know that I wont feel that I didn¹t give my heart to this trip and to this kid and to the reason why god brought me here in the first place.

As we are starting to finish up our rooms, the wallpaper has dried, the paint has settled in the first room, the floors are being set to be laid down and the days till we leave our counting down. It makes me wonder when I will be back here, IF I will be called back here. I hope so. I hope I get to see Micha again. I know its early but he is gone for the weekend and not seeing him throughout the day is weird ha. Anyhow, few more days left. Looking forward to seeing this finished big time. I am selfishly looking forward to getting home to Hawaii because I think my heart, my soul, my body and my mind need to decompress from the last trip and it never got too, and now I have this trip already in motion and altho this is great and we are doing something amazing, it is emotionally tolling. For the last month straight almost I have been a missionary so my body is not in a stable safe zone, nor is my soul or my mind. Then again, if our lives were always safe, if we were always in the comforts of our surroundings, we would never really appreciate what it means to be hungry, to be tired, to need a hug, to have warm water and ultimately to feel loved. So for all these things I am eternally grateful and honored to live a life of purpose that allows me to see things thru a much clearer set of lenses than I used to.

Day 6 - Daniel

by Daniel Cole

So I have been here for a while now and I am really enjoying it here and enjoying the Ukraine culture/experience. It feels like I have done so much in the last few days, We had a campfire and BBQ Marshmallows, We went to school, played sports football, badminton, Power Frisbee, we went to a marketplace and shopping centre, and redecorated a number of rooms in the orphanage that needed repairing. I have meet a ton of new people from all around the world who are really inspiring in so many ways.

I was surprised how much I have enjoyed the Ukrainian culture and the different Ukrainian foods we have had some lovely meals each one different types of soups and meat dishes and buckwheat. I realize now how much I miss little things at home like my creature comfort for example hot water but I am still getting by and manage without them and having more of a simple life.

Ukraine is a really beautiful country but at the same time it doesn’t take long to realize that it has its problems. I was amazed as I looked around the games yard this evening seeing how many children where out here, the orphans there seemed to be so many children around outside hanging out doing sports and having fun it got me thinking about the wider picture and that fact that each one of these children has there own individual story. I will probably will never even know their story and their backgrounds but that doesn’t matter I can try to connect with them for the few days I am here. I can try to play with them and bring some connection through badminton and ping pong even if I cant speak to them with all the culture and language barriers I can still look into them and connect with them on different levels other than just speaking words and using words. I feel as if I trust most of the children now as I have got to know them a little bit better.

Today one of my highlights was when I went to the children’s school and I was asked to help the children with their English classes. It was a great experience something totally unexpected and I really had to step out of my comfort zone to do as I read aloud sentences and the listened to the children repeat the words back to me it really was an awesome experience. Ron played some songs on the acoustic guitar and the children really seemed to enjoy it.

So to wrap up I would say it’s been a freakin awesome week, hey I get to use words like freakin and awesome loads this week such a cool thing dude! But yeah just great pushing out of comfort zones and finding new things that I never really knew existed about myself.

(Editor’s note: Daniel is from the U.K. He is excited about the team’s American slang and bringing it back home with him.)

Superstitions

by Lori Lenz

So there are a few proverbs that I’ve learned since I’ve been here in the Ukraine:
First – There’s something about that you can’t chase 2 rabbits. (Sort of a you can’t have your cake and eat it too reference….). Thus the advertisement…which I completely didn’t understand until someone explained it to me.

Second – Never put a mirror by your front door. (Because your money will come in the front door, and reflect back out)

Another – Girls can’t sit on the ground, as it will freeze their ovaries. I have no idea where this came from.

But this one really bothered me.

Never say nice things to a baby. As children need to earn praise.

I think this may explain a lot of what I have experienced here in this country. There is a harshness about the people here that I’ve never experienced before. In general, I’m not sure, everyone just seems a little sad.

I know some of it is simply their dialect – the harshness of the language and the preferred volume of speech just makes everyone sound angry.

But

There’s something about the kids here. In just 3 days, they have blossomed into happy, loud, typical teens. They seem to be desperate for attention and a little unconditional love to keep them going. I know I’m drilling these stats in, but they have a 10% suicide rate among orphaned teens. 60% prostitution rate for girls. 70% crime rate for boys.

Something is very wrong. But maybe it goes back to being as simple as being told as an infant that you were worthless or ugly or sub-par. I’d like to try an experiment and see if simply encouraging children changes things. If we start building these kids up from the start, if people gave these kids encouragement from the moment they are born and let them know just how amazing and precious they are…

It’s probably a bit idealistic, but maybe, just maybe that can be a little teeny amazing change in the world.

тому що ми не можемо забути

by Josh Kidney

I find it uplifting that days which feel the most ineffectual can often be redeemed by a few short hours of extreme purpose. Last night, several members of the Faceless team had a great opportunity to get to bed early, yet chose to abandon it for talk of future hopes and dreams. Not dreams of fame and fortune but of a coming movement.

As so many people warned me, I was shocked by what I saw when I first arrived at this orphanage. I had mentally prepared in the weeks leading up to this trip for the worst possible scenario. I pictured sad and hungry children, wearing tattered clothes and sole-less shoes. Visions of Oliver Twist asking “please sir may I have another” tormented me in my sleep, but even my darkest expectations could not come close to reality.

Strangely though, the atmosphere was not worse than my imagination, but far better. Despite the mullet being the haircut of choice, the orphans are dressed far more stylishly than ever was when I was their age, and we’ve eaten 4 healthy meals a day since we arrived. Most of the kids are constantly smiling and joking and laughing and the orphanage they call home isn’t half bad.

Today, as I was updating my Facebook status, Alyona, a 16 year old Ukrainian girl, who earlier in the morning had stolen one of the work gloves off my hand, barked at me in Ukrainian to get out of my chair. As soon as I stood, she confiscated the chair and a computer and gave me the universal symbol for “talk to the hand.” This is our relationship and it started when I made smores for her and her friend Vika at the campfire.

It’s not hard to imagine these girls living a life in the United States. If you put them in a line up with American girls of the same age, you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. What is hard to imagine is that statistically, Alyona and Vika are more likely to be sold into sex slavery than to have a career or get married.

Of the kids we’ve gotten to know while we’ve been here, let’s say 10 girls and 10 boys, the statistics say that 2 will commit suicide before the age of 18, 6 of the girls will be forced into prostitution and 7 of the boys will enter into a life of crime. Though it doesn’t show on their face, Alyona, Vika, Oksana, Shasha 1, Sasha 2, Mischa, Olya and Sergei hold little hope for a bright future, and a vast majority of the United States is unaware that this tragedy exists. My hope is that when they become informed, they choose to act instead of changing the channel, closing the magazine, or clicking to another web page. The convenience of distraction is one of evil’s closest allies.

Earlier today, a couple of the guys and I made the 10 minute trek into town in search of a moneychanger and something cold to drink. On the way we ran into 2 of our orphan friends. The kids look forward to days like this because it is when they receive their monthly allowance from the government. The allowance adds up to 600 grivna or about 80 US dollars. It’s the only money they receive and it is usually blown on frivolous items that most teens are prone to buying. Mischa, one of the teens who met us on the street, had other plans for at least part of his money. As he approached us, he handed Danny a red tin box. Danny opened it to find a detailed collector’s knife, a gift from Mischa. Stunned, we walked with the boys into town. When we got to the moneychanger, Mischa motioned to us that we didn’t need to change in our money, that he had some that we could use if we needed. Stunned again. After finding nothing in the stores we started to walk back to the orphanage. After passing a group of merchants on the street we stopped to wait up for Mischa who was trailing behind. As we turned, we saw him putting money into the cup of an old beggar woman whom my friends and I had walked by without noticing. As if this wasn’t enough, when we got back, he had bought a chocolate bar for all of us to share.

It astounds me that a teen that has been dealt such a hard deck in life can be so generous. It makes me want to fight for him that much harder. These are not worthless degenerates that can serve no better purpose in life. These are loving, caring human beings with loads of potential that weren’t fortunate enough to win the ovarian lottery and wind up born in the U.S.A.

We’ve been blessed as a country and it is our turn to bless others. You have been informed. The question is what will you do about it? Will you choose to be a part of a movement that won’t carry your name or your personal achievements, but that will change the course of history? Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone and catch a glimpse of what the world we live in is really like? Are you willing to inform yourself and others about the tragedy that exists no further than a airplane ride away from your own front lawn? Or will you switch on Conan and forget about it?

The choice is yours.

Busy

by Ron Gehrke II

As you may have guessed from the lack of updates, today has been much busier than the last few. We are pushing incredibly hard to finish our renovations here at the orphanage. We have hit a few snags where we have had to redo some work that we thought was done and the unexpected has expectedly popped up. Most of the day was spent rescrapping one of the ceilings, painting, and pretending to be electricians.

Weeping

by Addie Domske

I thought for this brief post I would give you some bits of my journal so far: : )

Monday, May 25, 2009

We’ve arrived in the Ukraine. I like traveling a lot and I can see myself staying here for a long time. I’m not sure I like the capacity in which I’m here yet, but I can definitely see myself molding this experience into a job down the road.

There are Russian/Ukrainian boys outside my room laughing. :D

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Today a guy in my group named Stephen said during our morning debriefing that “when you travel, you have the opportunity to see God in/as a new face.”

I really love that. And I think it’s so true. God is here. But he seems really different.

Eric, another guy from Kansas City, talked about how he was studying John with his friends at home and how he had found a new meaning to the story of Jesus going to heal Lazarus and weeping because Mary and the others thought he had arrived too late to save him.

“Jesus wept.”

I only knew the verse because it is the shortest one in the Bible and it was funny to quote to people. I never thought about how meaningful it is though. In a simple sentence, we see how Jesus sees the world. He weeps at how much we don’t get it. How much we don’t trust him. How much we think we’re in control.

Jesus weeps for the world. I’m weeping for these kids. (I’ve certainly been the only one to weep in our discussions so far.) : )

Jesus wept for us. I hope sometime you can weep for others too.